*from 40 Year Old Virgin. I loved that dayum movie. Hilarious!*
Male grooming has become all the rage. There are a number of businesses that cater to men only grooming sessions with services from back waxing to manicures and pedicures to full "release" massages. We all know what those are. Uh huh.
"You want me-sage? You want rub? Go in back. Ten dollar hun-nee."
I can't.
So ladies I'm asking yea or nay to manscaping? Does vomit lodge in the back of ya thoat (yea I said thoat LOL) when you see a hairy chest or God forbid a hairy back? What if the hairy chest lead to a hairy stomach that done lapped? (How ignant was that dayum sentence? LOL) Unibrow? Hairy fingers? Hairy toes? What about beady bead pubs? Ok, you know what? I'm feeling green! *gag* I gotta stop and regroup. My lawd.
*cleansing breath*
I'd love for Stunna to get reManstructed. We'd go to the salon, sit side by side in pedi-stations sipping chilled bottled water *complimentary* fussing over glossy magazines. He'd ask if he should get the peach cobbler or vanilla jasmine spa treatment and if parafin wax remedied cracked heels as the brochure promised. No way could he have cracked heels even if he never intended to show his feet to anybody other than me. We'd choose between a shiny top coat or overly buffed nails that glisten like an AB diamond and I'd secretly hate him because my nails would never look as lustrous as his. He'd reassure me, despite my dull and lifeless nails (Too Wong Fu buffered them for a good five minutes I know), that I had the sexiest nail beds he'd ever seen. He'd be heady with pride as he sat with his wet hands and feet drying under the electric blue light examining his newly pushed back cuticles. We'd bond and grow stronger and our love would last because he wouldn't dare leave me after I've exposed him to such a self satisfying gem, would he?
Is my living in vain? I'm just sayin'.
6 comments:
I am new to your blog but I had to comment. OMG I hate men with chinchilla coats on their chest.. that ish is just nasty.
I would SO love to have a spa day with my boyfriend.. getting a manicure with parafin wax.
His azz is a electrician and his cuticles are to the point where I'm sure I could carve them like a turkey.
*Need resuscitating*
[Flatlined]------------------------
"She's alive!"
Use a fool is all I got. There are no quipped comebacks for my commenting delight. You have out-damn-done yourself with this here. But I will add that because of this I'ma need you to make that "chilled bottled of water" a damn bottle of Patron.
Driven2Drink cuz Mo as is off da dayum meter....
I loves my mens to be mens...nappy pubes and all.
But with that being said...SON, would you allow your LAWN to get that out of order? Moderation por favor.
Unh huh *hiccup* [raising my EMPTY glass to the sky]...here's to exactly what so...wise...sista said!!
Ay yo Pro...Can you fill a sista up?? [LOL]
Hahahaha jesus. I'm all about moderation. A balance between the alpha male type I love and adore and me not feeling like I'm laying on my puppy when I curl up on his chest. Just sayin'.
Oh and arched eyebrows. Too much for the kid.
hahahhaha...ok bye!
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