I'm Just Sayin

This past weekend I had the pleasure of seeing some "queens" up close and personal. Beyonce, Mary J, Kelly Rowland, Tina Turner just to name a few. Lemme set the stage. Me and some friends went to Club Choas. We'd been to one of these "shows" before but that was eons ago and we were feeling the need to do something different since it was her birthday. Uh huh.



Clap. Clap. Fantastic performancers.

We had a good time! But, what fascinated me the most were the men (gay and straight) who reached in their pockets and made it rain on these entertainers. No seriously. There were gay men (the majority of course), straight men, straight women (such as myself and my crew) and gay women all standing there ooh'n and ahh'n with our mouths open, eyes wide because it was truly a site to behold. Everybody and I do mean everybody held money in the air because this type of "artistry" was indeed dollar worthy.

Now on to what's got me so dayum puzzled! I for one am very open minded. Whateva floats ya boat is all good with me because who am I to say anything about what you like or dislike. *shrug* But somebody answer me this, what is the appeal with drag queens for gay men??? If you're a gay man why do you want a man that looks like a woman, titties, stretch marked azz and all (see pics above)??? *scratching my head* What is the attraction? Is it more of having the best of both worlds? When these queens came out to do their thing, you could see the men salivating. All of them! I can sorta kinda see why a straight man would because to him, he's looking at a woman nevermind the dyck and balls "she" got tucked tween "her" muscular thighs. So I'm giving the straight men some slack. I ain't gone lie, some of them had ME fooled because they looked so friggin authentic. LOL!

But the gays hooping and hollering and actin a fool???? I can't call it. I resign to the fact that I will never understand this culture no matter how much I love them. I'll party with them any day of the week because I know that I can shake my azz in peace. I'm just sayin.

Durty

Gift Givin'

Hey hey ya'll. What it do? I've been gone for a minute but I'm making a promise today that I won't be shuckin' and jivin' not doing regular post. Deal? Deal.

I've been thinkin (this can be real dangerous cuz my mind be all ova da place. Check out the "pieces of me" series if you need proof *sigh*). The holidays are right around the corner, Black Friday is staring me in the face and I have decided to *clutchin pearls*....

FORGO THE ENTIRE GIFT GIVIN', I'M GOIN INTO DEBT TO BUY YOU SHYT YOU DON'T EVEN NEED, I'M GIVIN YOU THIS CUZ YOU GAVE ME SOMETHING BULLSHYT!

I am done. I should not be stressed out tryna figure what to buy folks. Stunna can forget it. Nope, I ain't buying gift bags from Bath & Body Works! Nope, I ain't buying cologne from Macy's! Nope, Nope, Nope. I have enough Bath & Body shyt to last a lifetime and I'm sure everyone else does too. And if I buy one more bottle of cologne I'll scream! Nope, I'm not buying gift cards either! If you don't have it, you won't get it from me. Sorry. That's just what I'm feeling like these days. So to avoid all confusion let me make it plain...

DO.NOT.BUY.ME.SHYT.IF.YOU.EXPECT.A.GIFT.IN.RETURN!

(I'm not sayin you can't buy me anything if that's what ya heart telling YOU to do. Just know that the act of "kindness" won't be reciprocated on my end, k? K.)

Instead of using all ya lil monies buyin ridiculous gifts, why not open an e-savings account (ING)? Why not do a lil investing instead of throwing ya money away, on purpose mind you? We gotta think smarter people and realize that family and friends may hate you for not thrusting yourself in the throes of gift giving but I say eff it! If they get mad over some dumb mess like that then that's just too dayum bad.

Not only am I boycotting Christmas gift givin' but I'm also "SAYIN' NO" to Valentine's Day (I never celebrated that crap no way) and birthdays. No wait, I'll be lenient on birthdays cuz my born day needs to be celebrated with lavish thangs so that probably means that I gotta give lavish to get lavish Ugh.

Pray for me.

Durty

The Center Aisle

I haven't been to church in a while cuz I've been traveling back and forth to my hometown for the past month and a half. Although I was home AGAIN this weekend, I felt convicted for opting to get on the road early to avoid the crazy azz traffic on I-95 rather than attending church with my fam. Yesterday, I decided to get my church on and I'm so very glad I did! The sermon was awesome!

The youth pastor spoke (he ain't no more than 25 or so, if that) and got the congregation into a Holy Ghost frenzy!! Everybody was on their feet hollering and hallelujah'n as he led us on to/in to Glory.

After the sermon, he invited folks to Christ. You know the whole "If you don't know the Lord God as your personal Savior..." People were still up praising and worshipping and flapping their arms above their heads thanking God for His grace and His mercy.

As people started to settle down (nobody came to Christ) the young preacher said, "I know this isn't for everybody but I'm challenging you to give a love offering to the church. I'm challenging you to not only be hearers of the Word but doers of the Word. I don't want you to just say that was a good sermon, instead I want you to plant a seed of thanksgiving and show the Lord that you are because He is! I wouldn't ask anybody to do anything that I wouldn't do. I'm a senior in college taking 18 credits and my car acting funny but I'm giving $100 and I'm challenging you to give. Everybody who will give $100 please line up in the center aisle!"

You could hear a pin drop. No more hand raising, no more praising, no more hallelujah'n. Nothing but a bunch of blank stares.

I'm not comfortable with whole center aisle thang because who needs to know that I'm giving $100? But I did as the young preacher asked. Me and my raggedy checkbook stood in the center aisle and asked Jesus to forgive me for five-finger'n (read: stealing) parking passes from work last week. I pray $100 will cover it! *sigh*

Durty

More Pieces

Ok people, I'm trying to get back to some sense of normalcy so here goes *y'all pray for me* LOL!

101. I get my strength from my momma. She is a beast and she go-hard without a buncha talking. She is me and I am her.

102. I have a very imaginative mind. I see things as if they were. Real. Unreal. Doesn't even matter.

103. I can love you and hate you as a person all at the same time. It's complicated but it's true.

104. I wanna BE Halle Berry's baby and I am dead serious.

105. I've lived in the DC area since '92 and I have yet to meet a Redskin or a Wizard. I am so hot about that!

106. I hate when people ask me a billion (more than 2) questions. If I wanted you to know, I'd tell you. Ain't no need to be asking..geesh.

107. If it wasn't for the grace and mercy of God, I would be in prison right this second.

108. I delivered a baby on my own. At 16. Somehow I feel heroic although I know that I shouldn't.

109. I am unstoppable. Whatever I say, it is so. In my mind at least and really that is all that matters.

110. I watch gay (men) porn. Ya know with me having that whole penis envy thang. I'm gonna buss hell wide open. Jesus deliver me please! I got demons!

111. I should not feel like I'm old as hell at the tender age of 33. There has got to be more to the whole 30's thang than this. Dang. Thank gawd I look 25 or I'd just die!

112. I really don't care about the war (sorry Military folk & ya fam). Me caring means I'm using energy that I could put towards something I can actually do something about. *shrug*

113. My temper is like a rage in Harlem! I can smile like butter and spit fire at the same time! Don't fuk with me!

114. I love overly affectionate men.

115. People say that I'm nonchalant because I don't immediately get hype bout ridiculous, lame, retarded, dumb, unnecessary bullshyt. I gotta think first or else I'll only get to make one phone call and be somebody's bytch. No suh! I ain't ready!

116. I am my #1 fan. *smug*

117. I design jewelry. I got fiddy-leven jobs! Everyday I'm hussalin'...

118. My degree claims I'm a civil engineer. Imagine that.

119. I'm gonna go see a therapist. I am actually thrilled about it.

120. I don't like some people in my fam. No seriously. I.don't.like.them!

121. I cry like a baby when I am reminded that Jesus paid it ALL and that He knows the exact number of hairs on my head! Awesome!

122. I do not hold grudges. I forgive and say I'm out.

123. I hate stopping to get gas. What a waste of got dayum time! Ugh! I can not be bothered.

124. Why do people live (by choice) in hurricane/tornado/too much got dayum snow infested places? The purpose of North & South Dakota is what? I don't get it.

125. I never knew I was so opinionated. I guess I am. *shrug*

That's all I got! Holla.

Durty

I'm Still Here!

Hey folks,

I'm still here! I had a death in the fam so I was out taking care of business. I'm back and I promise I'll post something exciting real soon.

Holla atcha girl!